i kind of hate my life
hello! i haven't really been open with my struggles with eating very much on here, so i figured i should. both my mother and my pediatrician think i have anorexia. i mean, i think it makes sense. i feel like ever since i was maybe in the 6th grade i've sort of passively hated my body and always compared myself to others. this was particularly awful since all of my friends at the time were very pretty and skinny. i had a friend that could wrap her fingers around her upper arm and ankles. not that i was particularly jealous of that; it's not like i want to look like a skeleton.
lately, i've sort of... lacked motivation to continue writing here? or maybe it's just that i've been focused on other endeavours as of late. that's not to say i'm not going to continue writing, if i didn't i would actually go crazy! but the thing is why would anybody want to write while they're feeling good? i only ever write when i'm upset. ruminating on depressing things would just sour my mood.
i'm also thinking about cross-posting these blogs to my tumblr but i havent figured out how yet.