open the door
i failed to realize one thing. it's you. the problem is that it's you. whatever your so-called "issue" may be is preventing you from being human. you claim you've tried everything. you haven't taken your own life yet. that's one thing you absolutely can't do. but what is the cure, anyway? notre-dame is burning and yet you watch with those ugly bug-eyes. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant. dormant.
i've been sleeping for about 16 years and counting, so wake me up with a kiss. or stab me in the chest for each amount of times i've been met with derision over some uncontrollable thing or other. i have been sinned against as many times as there are swords piercing the flesh of my bosom! where are my golden tent-like lambs? none shall rejoice as long as i live! if you prick me, do i not bleed? as much as any of you? do i not bleed? she shall die at the hands of a spindle; a celebration is in order! even you, brutus? then fall caesar, fall! let them hate, as long as they fear! we're all made of nothingness!
this, too, shall pass? i don't want it to. i don't want that. i don't want this. this isn't the happy ending i wished for. this isn't my happiness. i wish everyone would stay with me forever. all grins and delight, ribbons and curls, bells and whistles, sister and brother, and dreams and the like. don't pass. i'm blocking the door. don't pass. i may be nothing but that doesn't mean you have to be. don't pass. i feel so sick. i'd get sicker. and sicker and sicker.
say, how about i kill myself? get invited to my miserable funeral! i hope this invitation finds you guilty! RSVP, regrets only! save the date, as i myself am unable to be saved!