tons of things that aggravate me!
since i am my father's daughter, being unreasonably angry befits me well. i'm extremely childish, too.
i despise when people congregate places, especially in the hall when i'm trying to get by. now, one thing to know about me is that i'm an extremely fast walker; and i don't waste time, either. if i'm headed someplace, i know my destination and i know how i'm going to get there. i find myself playing some sort of high-school-student-temple-run trying to get by everyone at my own pace (which happens to be extremely quick). they just look like mindless zombies to me. if you're going to convene, do so out of the general direction of people trying to get through their day! i heavily dislike those who aren't aware of their surroundings. it can't be that hard to talk to the side of the aisle? but i have the hyper-conscious of a prey animal, so. be more cognizant of the general area or i'll straight up kill you!
i despise people who don't know when to take things seriously. now, i do not mean people who are either more disposed to seriousness or to senselessness, i just mean people who can't strike a balance. i think i need a little silly in my life, just not when i'm being serious. simple enough? not so! it gets to a point where the amount of jokes outweighs the amount of genuine insight i get out of a person, and it starts to feel as though i might as well be talking to a spirit halloween animatronic. does anything you say have any weight at all when you get an unrelated response? i genuinely get violent thinking about it, ugh. at least give what i'm saying some thought, won't you.
i despise when people copy me, or try to act smart when they're so foolish they don't know what intelligence even looks like. i won't like you better if you force yourself to my level, i'd much appreciate you just being yourself. when this happens, people say drivel they don't understand, or prattle while putting no thought behind their words. there's nothing i hate more than people who don't know what they're talking about, or people that aren't well-spoken. now, if you know me in real life you would know that i'm very prone to rambling, but at least i have something to say that isn't pure nonsense! this has substance, you know? if it's just idle prattle, don't say a thing!
i despise people who lack proper manners. like, people who chew with their mouth open, or talk much too loudly in movie theatres or libraries, or don't know how to dress at formal events, stuff like that. people that possess a general blindness about where they are also piss me off. do you think you should be screaming at the top of your lungs in public places? are you stupid? i myself never get invited to anything, so it's a rare opportunity for me. if you're going to ruin it by being obnoxious, i might just have to murder you!
i despise when i'm associated with a specific group, and everyone in that group gets invited to something except for me. i don't have enough fingers on my hands to count how many times this has happened to me. "oh, sorry we forgot you, melly!" "it was just an oversight, melly!" "there were too many people, melly!" "we didn't think you wanted to come, melly!" "oh, we didn't want to invite you because you're kind of weird, no offense, melly!" argh! just... aheghrghrhrhrh!!!!! ghrrrrjhrjh erejrhrhrhrh!!!!!!!!!! HAJDHJRHHRHRJEH RHJEJRHEJRHEJRHJEHRJE HRJKEHREHR!!!!!!!
i also despise how back-handed and bitter i get when this happens. i'll say "oh no, it's alright! i'm not mad at all!" meanwhile i'm saying this through my gritted teeth, clenching my fists until they're beet red, and intricately planning their murder in my head. like, of course im angry!!! i just hate being an afterthought! can you blame me? i hate not being included! gahhhh! am i not as worthy as everybody else? are you hosting this event to intentionally make me feel unwelcome or what? too many guests for the i-hate-melly-she-should-kill-herself party?
i despise people who are unable to plan events. i had a friend like this once, it was unbearable. i may not be organized physically, but mentally i have like a billion planners and calendars that are bouncing around my head like tv screensavers. everything is planned out in my head, so i get unnaturally angry when something breaks those mental plans. like when people don't tell you both of you are doing a thing, so when they do it's too late and you don't have any time to prepare yourself. since when was i going here or there? now i can't go since i didn't know we were doing it! or when people are like, "oh i know we already planned it this way but i want to do it my way." and then five minutes later; "no actually, let's do it this other way." and then back to square one; "no, let's actually do it the way we planned." just decide for christ sake!
i despise being talked over and interrupted, too. i despise being treated like an idiot, and when people expect i'll think or react one way when it's the exact opposite. you could probably gather from all of this that i'm miserable and difficult and scrupulous. and that much is true, i'm very annoying and hard to talk to! but it's not like i'm angry all the time. it's not my fault people don't meet my standards.
i just want to have conversations with people. you know how lonely it is to not have a like-minded individual to talk to? it's been like that my whole life. people that are dumber than me exasperate me, but people that are smarter intimidate me and anger me. i can literally never win!! i despise myself for thinking like this.